changes

OLE OLE OLE OLE~~!!

2007-02-01T00:50:00.000+08:00

After the close win over malaysia via PK, we managed to win the Thais 2-1 after 30 years!!!!!! KALLANG ROAR IS BACK!!! Hope can go all the way and win the 1st ASEAN cup

SH 07

2007-01-27T13:19:00.000+08:00

Its been 1 1/2 years since ive been here. Its been an enjoyable experience except for the academic part..... zzzzzzzzzzz

DERBY!

2007-01-27T13:02:00.000+08:00

Singapore vs Malaysia! Asean cup semis! hope it doesn't rain.......

I still love u

2006-05-28T14:38:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog:

I am so sorry. After lookin back at the old posts, I realise i still do love U. Please forgive me for neglecting u. looking back at my old posts, I realised you were the one that is always there for me to express my thoughts and feelings. Forgive me.......... Can we please start anew?

SO LETS START BLOGGING AgAIN! But after i clear my stupid speech tmr..........

"there are more important things in life besides studies"

2005-10-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

I was showering when this phrase suddenly appeared in my mind. Hiaz now i finally know y so many people say that.......................................... I can relate so much to the above statement.....................
I finally know y they say that le....hiaz...................
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Must be because they suck at studying too!..... jus like me! hahahahahah! sore losers.... MUhahahahahahahaha. SUCKERS

WTF

2005-10-05T19:59:00.000+08:00

NB! Y my entry gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mus reblog....................... tmd took so much effort to start on e blog and now its gone! #$&^$%^#&%#

wait till next golden week la....................

Revenge is sweet.....(super lag...)

2005-05-04T13:40:00.000+08:00

I wanted blood and i got it. Superb performance by Liverpool. Never been so psyched up for such a loooong time. Money cannot buy you a title and 1 more italian job and its ours!

wah tis post was like dunno how many months ago la. But anyway its already ours muhahahahah.

Wanted to start my first entry in china when i saw tis unfinished blog. Anyway we still suck in EPL... so nothings really changed........

Facade

2005-04-17T14:30:00.000+08:00

Was watchin tv on a lazy sunday noon when Ch8 was showing "I NOT STUPID"(dunno y blog spot cant post chi characters...) the TV series. That particular episode once again reminded me of the disappointment I have towards the younger generation of Singaporeans, MYSELF include.

I really feel we are a sad pampered bunch with no drive, a false sense of secureness, lack of identity and the impression that we are sophisticated and therefore a cut above the rest.

We laugh at china people for being obiang and boorish. Issit because we know we are not as driven and determined as them?
We laugh at their lack of command in english, but as chinese isnt mandarin our primary language?
I didnt really like studyin chinese when i was younger. However on a particular day, this thought jus struck me. As a chinese, mandarin is a close link to our past culture and tradition. If we cannot master that, how can we find our identity. Its las good as being a fish who cannot swim haha, so embarrassing.
I feel external factors do play a part for this problem, but most impt the lack of awareness and drive is the main cause of decline.
Govt still wanna decrease the level of chinese standard in schools... gone le...
Singaporeans always pride themselves on the diversity of culture etc etc... but issit jus a cover up for a lack of distinct identity? Seeing all the traditional art forms dyin 1 after the next is really saddening. Even basic communication in dialect is dwindling.
Awareness is 1 thing, but lack of motivation to make a conscious effort to try salvage the situation is also useless...

Singapore is really a very special country with its high level of security and comfort level. I sincerely feel theres no place like SG. However the world isnt like SG. Our lack of exposure and experience results in v constricted opinions and views. This form of ignorance provides us with a false sense of security.... which many people are happy to be have... Lets jus pray that our country will continue to flourish so that the facade bubble will never break. If it does, highly the outcome will be catastrophic.

*a bit 1 sided...lazy to argue both ways la.........*

Classic.........

2005-03-29T01:35:00.000+08:00

Background:

This idiot named Kevin (its his real name, but so many Kevins ard... no need to fake his identity..) got Cher's msn e mail from MIRC. Thinks she mus have gotten sabohed. So he happily added her and tried to chat her up. Unfortunately, Mr Lionel here was damn bored and decided to have some fun wif Despo Guy(kevin).

I was added in under the pretense that i was Cher's roomie by e name of Clio(becos of my msn nick...) So basically it was a 3 person conversation window with Cher, Despo guy and mui. Aziz came in later under e name of Mel.

Character development:

Cher: Acting as herself mostly. Likes to act cute. Her arsenal of *giggles*, *Hee* and "wor" enough to deh most guys. Known Clio since Jc and are currently roomies in NTU.

Ziz: Acting as Mel. The cool chick currently in SIM. Maneater. Attitude. Likes lonnngggg stuff heh.

Lionel: Acting as Clio (cleo). Super xiao mei mei and act cute type. Quadruple of Cher's act cute ability. Able to deh any guys to death......

From what we know, Despo guy is a 24yr old student from NUS and currently attached. NA BEI! attached le still come flirt wif us... Got his HP and friendster account quite easily(i shall not be evil and put his friendster account on e WWW although i am really tempted to. Enuff evilness for a day hahaa).

So we attempted to get his house phone no too. But he was super reluctant to give...
So what if he was reluctant? Im certain i could convince him to pass me his house phone ( read MSN excerpt below )

Despo Guy steadfastly refused.... until tis happend...... bwahahhaha
Clio was v sad cos Kev Kor Kor (KKK hahaha) didnt wanna give his new mei mei his house no. And Clio mei mei really wanted to tok to KKK cos hes a nice guy.
So KKK msged Clio on a new window. Neva die b4...

EXCERPT:

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
clio i prefer not to give it to u now can? but I don't rule out the possiblity of giving u in future

lio-im bored =( says:
really?

lio-im bored =( says:
u seem lieka ncie guy ma (YA RITE......)

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
yup...

lio-im bored =( says:
u don trust me huh?

lio-im bored =( says:
i jus broke wif my bf also..

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
no lar..

lio-im bored =( says:
no 1 to tok to ma..

lio-im bored =( says:
tot can chat wif u

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
lets start with sms first lor.. at least let me let my gf know first lar (HAR HAR HAR .. I Believe)

lio-im bored =( says:
really?

lio-im bored =( says:
don mind me sms u hor?

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
sure.. sms away...

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
but gotta warn u sometimes when I'm in lab or doing work, I'll not reply so soon..

lio-im bored =( says:
oh okie np =)

lio-im bored =( says:
u wans ee my pic?

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
sure..

lio-im bored =( sends:
XXX PIC (Cute Gals Pic, Don worry my female frens...not urs hahaha)

lio-im bored =( says:
not v pretty la...

lio-im bored =( says:
later u see le don wan tok to me

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
lol.. no lar.. not that bad rite

lio-im bored =( says:
u see for urself la

lio-im bored =( says:
i dunno

lio-im bored =( says:
huh u mus go le huh...

lio-im bored =( says:
haiya...

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
so sorry ya.. gotta go do my schoolwork liao.. relax a lot for the day liao

lio-im bored =( says:
kor can i ask u somethin?

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
sure..

lio-im bored =( says:
u tat time really go strip club?

lio-im bored =( says:
so eee lei...

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
haha.. no lar.. my frens they all went.. asked me to go.. but I pai seh lor.. so didn't go..

lio-im bored =( says:
oh.... (.......)

lio-im bored =( says:
at least u decent =) (PUI!)

Transfer of "XXX.JPG" is complete.

lio-im bored =( says:
tink u find me ugly

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
oh ur not ugly lar

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
nice smile

lio-im bored =( says:
u so nice =)

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
that is what? NTU orientation?

lio-im bored =( says:
ya lo

lio-im bored =( says:
i noe i not cute la

lio-im bored =( says:
but u so nice

lio-im bored =( says:
thks

lio-im bored =( says:
kor when ur bday?

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
lol.. its not that bad.. have more confidence ya

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
hmm.. April XX..

lio-im bored =( says:
u also don wan let me have ur house no..

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
urs?

lio-im bored =( says:
june 29

lio-im bored =( says:
noe le mus buy prezzie lei (Learn from AC female frens 1...)

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
ai yah! shouldn't have asked! lol

lio-im bored =( says:
so mean 1...

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
kidding lar

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
=)

lio-im bored =( says:
sure ma

lio-im bored =( says:
can gimme advanced present?

lio-im bored =( says:
ur home no?

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
ok lar... btw, clio is ur english name, or just a nick?

lio-im bored =( says:
clio is my english name (DUMB OR WAT...LOOK AT MY EMAIL... GOT LIONEL LOR!)

lio-im bored =( says:
had it since sec sch

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
quite unique...

lio-im bored =( says:
really?!

lio-im bored =( says:
thks!

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
ok lar .. really gotta go lor..

lio-im bored =( says:
huh....

lio-im bored =( says:
really cant give no ar?

lio-im bored =( says:
u seem so nice

lio-im bored =( says:
hiaz..

lio-im bored =( says:
tot can tok to a kor...

lio-im bored =( says:
pretty pls? (*CRINGE*)

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
eh.. like I say, in future maybe.. maybe as ur birthday gift?

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
lol..

lio-im bored =( says:
u gimme now lor

lio-im bored =( says:
adv 1

lio-im bored =( says:
i give u hug hug (*SUPER CRINGE*)

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
lol

lio-im bored =( says:
can?

lio-im bored =( says:
i really neva ask guys no b4..

lio-im bored =( says:
1st time (WTF I WAN GUYS NO......)

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
hmm.. ok lar.. 6xxxxxxx

lio-im bored =( says:
wah kor so nice!

lio-im bored =( says:
*HUGS* (SUCKA!)

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
eh... let me know if ur calling k?

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
but not now lar..

lio-im bored =( says:
K KOR! (tis part onwards i bo chup liao, hurry up n go la...)

lio-im bored =( says:
THKS
NITE!

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
haiz.. ur like a little gal like that.. lol

lio-im bored =( says:
hee

lio-im bored =( says:
sry la..

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
ok lar.. cya ard k..

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
gotta go give my gf a call later too.. so cya

lio-im bored =( says:
buai buai

lio-im bored =( says:
okie nite nite

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
eh.. keep my number to urself k?

if pigs can fly, so can we! says:
thanks wor..

lio-im bored =( says:
okie! (heh....)

Do you know how disgusted i felt while doing this? U cant imagine e amount of vulgarities running through my head..........

MY FRENS! Pls don be as stupid as this guy. This is the kind of people that spoils guys reputation..... U wanna flirt...pls be smarter.......don come flirt with a guy u ass......
Pls be more careful online......

NOW THAT ASSHOLE IS ONLINE ASKIN FROM MY FREN, MY FRENSTER ACC. IDIOT!!!

Nostalgia: I kinda miss army hahaha

2005-03-17T07:26:00.000+08:00

Its 730am in the morning after Pools match against Blackburn and I cant zzzz.
Why?
Cos Im feeling nostalgic =(
Nostalgic about my camp life in 3Div CMTL......

I know everyone is always waiting to get out of Army but when you spend almost everyday with the same group of people for a whole year, you'll bound to have some emotional attachments. I hate having emotional attachments.... yucks... esp when it comes to the saying goodbye part.. but as i said, 1 whole yr there...wat to do... still human ma... gotta admit although I was always saying how much i was looking forward to ORD, it was hard to leave the Army.

Thinking back, I had a really great time there. 2 fellow MTO roomies, Tjoe and Alvin who were really great.

Tohs Chalet

JOB SCOPE: sleep late, play XboX, go Jurong Point watch movie, talk cock, cheong officer mess, eat supper and bitch about 3 sig officers and fucked up senior officers hahahhaha. SOONG! If it makes you feel better, we also suffer together when work is tough la....

Also my zai Platoon2. Best platoon in CMTL. Full of nice people and most efficient heh.

Platoon 2 ORD pic

I feel really grateful to everyone from Platoon2, drivers to Specs to PS. Majority of them are very much more skilled and experienced compared to me but still they didnt make things difficult for me. Thanks for the respect and lessons all of you have taught me.
Now that Ive left the army, it was really kinda scary on the kind of decisions we had to make back then, considering how young and inexperienced we were...... and still are hahahaha.

THE PIG STY

Still can remember the day when I was moving out from my bunk.... carrying so many bags and items. Saying the last goodbyes and dragging my ass to the car park... sadness sia... maybe my guys were happy that im finally leavin heh... but i dont think Im such a terrible MTO la...

Changed a total of 6 camps in army, really had it with farewells... sucks..... BMTC, SISPEC, OCS DELTA, SOCE, SCH of Log and finally 3 Div.

Maybe all preparing me for my farewell before goin Shanghai heh.

Musing: How often do you feel you've changed? and some side notes

2005-02-24T00:35:00.000+08:00

I was showering today and suddenly i had TAT feeling again....... The feeling of CHANGE.

Mostly a mental change which jus strikes me suddenly, making me feel "different" from before.

For recent years, Ive been getting this feeling every 1-2 months on a regular basis. Sometimes it can even be as short as every 1-2 weeks. Guess its cause of the different exposures from all the temp jobs and mixing around with people of different age groups. Also also coping with all the trials and happiness from all aspects in life.
Guess its positive then, shows Im not stagnant in life and Im continually learning from my experiences.

Anyway its been a enjoyable past 1 1/2 months for me. Met lotsa new friends and hung out with old friends. Coming to terms with goin to Shanghai and being more comfortable with myself. Wrapped up complicated issues *sigh of relief* and just enjoying whatever tats coming along in life. Too lazy to blog individually hahahaha.

Feeling happy is good, I love to feel happy hahaha. Happiness do indeed come from small and unexpected places.

MYSTERIOUS WAYS

"Johnny take a walk with your sister the moon

Let her pale light in to fill up your room

You've been living underground

Eating from a can

You've been running away

From what you don't understand...

Love

She's slippy

You're sliding down

She'll be there when you hit the ground

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright

She moves in mysterious ways

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright

She moves in mysterious ways

Johnny take a dive with your sister in the rain

Let her talk about the things you can't explain

To touch is to heal

To hurt is to steal

If you want to kiss the sky

Better learn how to kneel

On Your Knees boy"

A bit mad over this song by U2..... suddenly found it to be v nice hahaha.

BLEAK....

2004-12-28T20:39:00.000+08:00

Part 1: Cold Morning....

Woke up to a super chilly morning with the sore eyes from the day before. In case you didn't noe, I really really hate the cold. Gimme the HOT sun anyday man... in the family my mum, dad and sis all can stand the cold...All except me...na bei genes cock up..... I couldn't get up at all. Wanted to wrap myself back in my quilt and zzzzz.. lan lan must wake due to work.....

Every morning after a hot shower, I would attempt the "Walk of Faith"(trying not to freeze to death in the process).... "The walk" refers to me covering the distance from my parents bath room to my room while the freakin air con is on at like -30degrees (FYI the distance is around 3 Metres, Its v far when you are feeling as cold as me k...).
Today's walk was real bad... After braving the Arctic, I found myself emerging into the Antartica...(artic and antartica different places hor?) Upon tepping out of my parents room, I realised the weather outside was damn chilly as it was gonna rain soon. The Chilly weather plus the sea breeze = bone chillin wind...... brrrrrrrrrrr. I was shiverin uncontrollably and in a desperate attempt to save my life, I ran to the kitchen to get a glass of HOT water and drank it all down. Thank goodness the cold became way bearable after that.

Damn too tired from work mus zzzz... Continue tomorrow..... Tom CX b day... Maybe day after....

NNB headache, drink too much..... dunno y so angsty today....... blog tom...... $%$#@$@%%^^$$@#@%#%^@#3!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okie part 2:

1st half of the day really sucked. Sore eyes plus running nose..... felt like crap and still had to stare at the screen for a few hours. Went lunch alone as usual. No 1 talks to me at work... macham shadow, I too dao or they bo chup... sebei sebei sian. 2nd half of the day was better after using eye wash and taking Panadol flu.

Was happily doin my work when I overheard a conversation..... I was not eavesdropping cos she was speaking so damn loud. Basically the conversation was about her boyfriend wanting to go help out in the disaster struck areas.

On a side note regarding the Earthquake:

Initially when I heard of the disaster, I wasnt very affected. However as I began to read and see more about the extent of the disaster, it became really disturbing. In general the damage and death tolls were extremely depressing, pictures of corpses lying all over the place, children with cuts and bruises all over them, wrecked houses etc etc. However its the individual sad incidents that is even more heart wrenching for me. Millions of individuals enduring through all the personal pain and suffering.

My personal potraytion of Singapore in relation to the disaster is equivalent of that of a family waking up in the morning and discovering that their house is the only 1 left standing after a typhoon. The relief and dread overcoming the family while seeing all the debris and corpses littered all around them.

I was wondering if the Tsunami did indeed hit Singapore, what would the outcome be like? The reality that we have come to known would all be shattered overnight. Death of friends and family, destroyed infrastructure leading to economy failure. Basically we would be left with nothing. Considering the protection and sheltered life we have come to known, how many of us would be able to survive the challenges.....

I offer my heartfelt condolences and a silent prayer to all the people suffering all over the world. However thoughts can only offer that much.........

Yeah back to the story.
Apparently some organization had appealed for the help of Singapore Landrover owners association to provided their vehicles for aid relief in the areas. Her BF wanted to volunteer but she was against the idea, explaining logically to her BF he could not cope with the trip, yes its for a noble cause, if he asked for her opinion she would say no etc etc. After putting down the phone, she continued bitching to her colleagues how incompetent her BF was.

KNN it fucking irritated me man......... for a few reasons.....

Firstly, the tone was totally wrong..... you know the kind "you don noe anything cos you are still a dumbass kid" kinda tone that pisses you off? YES tat TONE. How are you able to talk rationally when someone is using TAT tone on you.... whats more his BF should be around his late twenties, can tahan meh....

Secondly, She was giving very logical and concise reasons on why her BF shouldnt go and help. Lack of training, unused to conditions, uncomfortable etc etc. This irked me as it reminded how ill equipped I was. I admit the thought of going to help out did cross my mind but I cant even take care of myself properly... how to take care of others.... ending up as a burden would only cause more problems.... Hiaz... weak la...

Lastly, don fucking downplay your BF till so jia lat...... Even if he doesnt have an ego, he has "Zi4 Zhun2" k.... Wats "Zi4 Zhun2" in english ar? Everyone has to start somewhere ma... if you don start how you learn, u idiot... R/S is such a hassle... eeeeeeeee (not sour grapes k...)

Tink not feeling well so mentally damn weak... vexed, perplexed, sian, down, fan nao....... Pls let 2005 be a gd yr..... But I doubt it la.....

"Today I found my soul, I felt it die inside of me, So I turn to you, life is like that you know"-3eB. Wake for young souls

Sad Boyz: a new beggining....

2004-12-22T20:46:00.000+08:00

THIS IS A damn lame blog wif lotsa vulgarities. 99% uncut and uncensored. Except for the secret character mentioned below.

FYI CB means cheese buns. I repeat CB means CHEESE BUNS. The rest of the short forms u all shd noe la.... esp if u no me personally......

After Jess read, she sms me say I act cute... Cb how can be cheese buns.... She ask me wats CCb then.... she asked if its Cheesy cheese buns. Guess wat..... Jess got it 100% right! Congrats jess! *applaudes* So smart le lei =)

Some background info: Sad Boyz was officially formed on DEC 31st 03. The group consisted 3 members. Zhongyi alias dusty, Junjie alias JJ and Me alias darky. However I left the group in late 04 and created my own band, Sian Boyz, with 1 member. ME alias darky....
Below is the conversation in preparation for our annual AGM.
Interested members, feel free to contact me.

lio-i am weakrer says:
x mas ponderosa?

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
u serious ah
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
hahahah

lio-i am weakrer says:
hahahaa
lio-i am weakrer says:
i serious
lio-i am weakrer says:
hahaha

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
ok loh

lio-i am weakrer says:
bak chor mee also can

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wahahaha

lio-i am weakrer says:
i xmas free la....
lio-i am weakrer says:
or we eat somethin else
lio-i am weakrer says:
jio jj also

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
of cos man
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
sad boys

lio-i am weakrer says:
yes!
lio-i am weakrer says:
i sian boyz

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wrong
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
this year all promote
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
sadder and sianner boys
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
let's merge lah hor

lio-i am weakrer says:
yes lA!
lio-i am weakrer says:
sebei sad and sian boyz
lio-i am weakrer says:
new grp

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wahahahahaha
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
next year won't be liao

lio-i am weakrer says:
hahaha
lio-i am weakrer says:
yes!

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
haha

lio-i am weakrer says:
cos next yr i don tink ill be ard
lio-i am weakrer says:
expand overseas
lio-i am weakrer says:
recruitment!

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
that's our new year resouluotion every year

lio-i am weakrer says:
hahahaha
lio-i am weakrer says:
ya lor
lio- i am weakrer says: next yr mus be 6ppl!

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
u xian china ppl ah
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wahahaha

lio-i am weakrer says:
yes la..

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
i sian npcc one

lio-i am weakrer says:
hahha

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
jj xian ntu one
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
sak kee

lio-i am weakrer says:
yes
lio-i am weakrer says:
spread net wide

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
yar lah

lio-i am weakrer says:
u can ask *censored* join us
lio-i am weakrer says:
merge wif loser boyz
lio-i am weakrer says:
hahaha
lio-i am weakrer says:
no

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wahahaha

lio-i am weakrer says:
we are not tat jia lat!

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
cannot
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
cb
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
we merge liao no hope leh

lio-i am weakrer says:
yes la
lio-i am weakrer says:
bottomless pit
lio-i am weakrer says:
gone..

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
waa
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
finally found a position that doesn't hurt so much

lio-i am weakrer says:
hahahah
lio-i am weakrer says:
knn tom wake at 7
lio-i am weakrer says:
ccb
lio-i am weakrer says:
work le..
lio-i am weakrer says:
sian
lio-i am weakrer says:
ccb
lio-i am weakrer says:
work also sian hahaha
lio-i am weakrer says:
slack also sian
lio-i am weakrer says:
cb
lio-i am weakrer says:
how,..

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
cb
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
how i wish i can wake at 7

lio-i am weakrer says:
i no choice

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
i've been waking in the middle of the night in pain
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
and den cannot sleep liao

lio-i am weakrer says:
i been wakin up also
lio-i am weakrer says:
cant zzz
lio-i am weakrer says:
keep dreamin

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wahahaha

lio-i am weakrer says:
i jus wan zz in peace
lio-i am weakrer says:
ccb

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
me too

lio-i am weakrer says:
hiaz
lio-i am weakrer says:
damn sad
lio-i am weakrer says:
zz also cannot

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
let's call ourselves
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
insomniac boys

lio-i am weakrer says:
hahahaha
lio-i am weakrer says:
INSOMNIA + SAD AND SIAN =?
lio-i am weakrer says:
lifeless boyz

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wahahaha
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
dead boys

lio-i am weakrer says:
ya....

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
featuring
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
dark and dust

lio-i am weakrer says:
knn we shd blog tis
lio-i am weakrer says:
haha
lio-i am weakrer says:
yes la,...
lio-i am weakrer says:
dead
lio-i am weakrer says:
D D D

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wahahahaa

lio-i am weakrer says:
Darkness+Dust=Dead

lio-i am weakrer says:
TRIPPLE D

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
darkness + dustness

lio-i am weakrer says:
= sadness
lio-i am weakrer says:
and sianess

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
wahahaha

lio-i am weakrer says:
haha
lio-i am weakrer says:
wah

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
triple D actually sounds ok leh

lio-i am weakrer says:
never ending equation
lio-i am weakrer says:
we hopeless le
lio-i am weakrer says:
hahha
lio-i am weakrer says:
DDD
lio-i am weakrer says:
KNN MUS BLOG TIS!

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
ok
zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
we call ourselves DDD

lio-i am weakrer says:
K!

zhongyi- i'm in so much pain that i can't stop shaking says:
sak

lio-i am weakrer says:
KEE!

=(

2004-12-21T05:57:00.000+08:00

Gundam seed is sad.............. For those who havent watched, pls go catch. Nice storyline, more adult orientated (NOT XXX...) and good action. WOOHOO! but still sad.............. hiaz............

E time has come..

2004-12-15T02:32:00.000+08:00

Ive neva believed in New Year Resolutions. Neva had any for the past 21 years. Whats the point of having when when you don intend to keep it.

After 21 yrs, I feel E time has come....

2 Resolutions.

Don let me down pls. Time to grow up

INSPIRATION

Hmm ive always had a tendency to look towards music and also the artiste for motivation. The different genres of music makes it easy for me to relate to them regardless of my mood. Ive always believe beneath all the glamour and fame, theres always the heartache and pain (not onli in the music industry la...).

U2 has always commanded my respect. Firstly for being able to produce good music, secondly for being 1 of the top bands around after such a long time (look at all e pesky boybands muahahah all gone. After blue, they will be extinct muahahah) and lastly, for being actively involve in trying to make a world a betta place.

Personally, their music reaches deep down inside. Bono's unique and powerful voice complemented by Edge, Adam and Larry brings out the soul of the song. People are telling me they are getting more pop but i still find the music to be nice.

I do believe music and politics shouldnt inter-cross but if its in a positive direction, why not? And instead of jus talking, they are actively playing their part NOT ONLY by donating money.

Felt U2 has already achieved many things and hope they can inspire me enough to stick to my 2 resolutions

Thank u Gerrard for restoring some faith

2004-12-11T22:50:00.000+08:00

THE VOLLEY

Guess what? we lost the Mersey side Derby hahaha... C'mon more consistency pls!
Everton played well, congrats.
Get rid of Josemi.... I hate him

Satisfaction = Happiness

2004-12-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

I tink I enjoyed e feeling of catching a movie more then the movie itself yesterday.

Cmon producers.. do your job, produce nice shows pls....

Corner seat(fully stretch my leg), dark ambience, feeling tired from lack of sleep(damn relax feeling, totally enjoying e nua feeling). Only irritating scenes were e sleeping scene with nice beds... tmd make me damn pek chek not being able to zzz....

After Sunset was also so so also(so so also... wat kinda english is tis..). Only thing i could remember from the show was the cop tellin Brosnan: The world is divided into 2 types of people, people who can enjoy sunsets and people who cant. Once again satisfaction = happiness is shown.

Hmmm mus tink how to make myself feel satisfied for the rest of this life.....

Side story on why I was tired..... Kana attack by mosquitos... Freakin bitches... I was tired enuff to let them bite me but they jus had to buzz around my ear. Tired of living....

Woke up, on light, *piak* = 1 dead mosquito + doing a good deed for rest of mankind.

Repeated the process twice. 2 Dead Mosquitos and less suffering in the world...

(Sy says its my own fault cos i killed one of em, so the partner came to bite me.....)

End of side story.

Excerpt: American Gods by Neil Gaiman

2004-11-29T22:50:00.000+08:00

I liked this excerpt.

There was a gal and her uncle sold her. Put like that and it seems so simple.

No man, Proclaimed Donne, is an island, and he was wrong. If we were not islands, we would be lost, drowned in each other tragedies. We are insulated (a word that means, literally, remember, made into an island) from the tragedy of others, by our island nature, and by the repetitive shape and form of the stories. The shape does not change: there was a human being who was born, lived, and then, by some means or another died.

There. You may fill in the details from your own experience. As unoriginal as any other tale, as unique as any other life. Lives are snowflakes: forming patterns as we have seen before, as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked in peas on a pod? I mean really looked at them? There's not a chance you'd mistake one for another, after a min of close inspection) but still unique.

Without individuals we see only numbers: a thousand dead, a hundred thousand dead, 'casualties may rise to a million'.

With individual stories, the statistics become people-but even that is a lie, for the people continue to suffer in numbers that themselves are numbing and meaningless. Look, see the child's swollen, swollen belly, the flies that crawl from the corner of his eyes, his skeletal limbs: will it make it easier to know his name, his age, his dreams, his fears? To see him from the inside? And if it does, are we not doing a disservice to his sister, who lies in the searing dust beside him, a distorted, distended caricature of a human child? And there, if we feel for them, are they now more important to us than a thousand other children touched by the same famine, a thousand other young lives who will soon be food for the flies' own myriad squirming children?

We draw our lines around these moments of pain, and remain upon our islands, and theyc annot hurt us. They are covered with a amooth, safe, nacreous layer to let them slip, pearl like, from our souls without real pain.

Fiction allows us to slide into these other heads, these other places, and look out through other eyes. And then in the tale we stop before we die, or we die vicariously and unharmed, and in the world beyond the tale we turn the page or close the book, and we resume our lives.

A life, which is, like any other, unlike any other.....

And the simple truth is this: there was a gal and her uncle sold her

Ramblings: days of nuaing

2004-11-26T22:31:00.000+08:00

Hohohohohohohohohohohoho e feeling to blog is back! Hmmm I guess e feeling only comes when ive reached my ultimate slacking and nuaness state..... So I guess its a bad ting then... But life has really been boring man...

Met Cx for supper, then both of us KB nowadays always in front of comp wasting time.... Met with Zy also dunno wat to do... Ended up standing outside the pet shop lookin at 2 super cute hamsters for 20 min.... Named them Chouji(looks like a rounded furball and was eating for e whole 20 mins..) and Naruto (freakin runnin ard e cage non stop). Then Zy was saying now got chance to slack we also Kbing.. 4 ever Kbing.. Was saying when he was in e army, kept tinking to himself if he had free time, he had lotsa activities that he wanted to accomplish muahahah... I.e morning wake up jio fren go makan breakfast but nowadays don even see e morning sun.... ELUSIVE SIA... ZZZZ at 5-6 a.m...... dunno is tat considered night or morning ahhahaha. TMD we are SCREWED! Thats not e way to go man... Definitely not..... ey frens if got any kang tou or activities tats not to resource straining pls jio me along.... Ive rotted for long enuff. But I was telling Zy if we miss this phase in life right, next time when we older got time to slack, it would be a totally different feeling... Maybe its jus an excuse la...So lets ignite e fire of youth within us *TWINKLE* (Gui sensei and rock lee) hahaha im mad le la....

Then I also asked Zy if he felt that we are getting more heck care as we got older. He was like ya, totally. I was wondering is it because Im getting more comfortable being me or is it jus total bo chupness..... e problems of youth.... sighhhhh. Hhahah macham damn old liao heh.

Today was bad..... real bad....... woke at noon then went to makan.. after makan go read then zzz again at 3... Felt super weak today... issit e weather? So forced myself to get off my ass and went to play Bball... Hiaz nowadays not much ppl go play le.. sian... all e small ginas... End up playin with this new ah beng group in my neighborhood. All e xiao hun huns haha. Was quite fun toh.
Came home on Tv...

Fwah! Mtv having Beastie boys special. I shall declare to the WWW that I wanna be a Beastie BOY! They 4eva like having so much fun making their music and Mtvs... I wanna be like em!!!!!!!!!!!! Jus letting go, going mad and having fun... thats life la.... Mayday seems to be having lotsa fun too...

HELLO BEASTIES!!

Hiaz when was e last time I did something I felt fun or exciting....... At least when I was in e army, I had chances to experience new stuff... Not always fun but cant expect everything to turn out good la.. I miss ODAC, I miss outdoor activities, I wanna go surfing, I wanna go a real beach with damn huge waves, I wanna go camping, I wanna see e world...... =( (gonna burst le)

Hahahah whine whine whine, f**king bastard shut e hell up heh..... Shit this blog is making me feel sian.. betta stop le.......

Oh ya im not sian of maroon 5 she will be loved le hahahaha. yay~

"Well if you battle me I will revile, People always say my style is wild, You've got gall you've got guile, guile! To step to me I'm a rapophile!"-Intergalactic, Beastie Boys

Review: The Motorcyle Diaries

2004-11-04T01:12:00.000+08:00

This show is a MUST watch. A rating of 5/5 stars. Im was afraid my lack of vocab would not be adequate to give a synopsis of such a wonderful show and thus used the excerpt from e official website http://www.motorcyclediariesmovie.com/home.html. Even the website was superbly done. After catching the show, the pictures and soundtracks on e website would definately bring back vivid and wonderful memories from the show.

"The Motorcycle Diaries, which world-premiered to a standing ovation at the 2004 Sundance Film Festival, follows an inspiring journey of self-discovery and traces the youthful origins of a revolutionary heart. The rich and complex human and social topography of the Latin American continent is unveiled in all its glory as two friends experience life at its fullest. The film, directed by Walter Salles (Central Station, Behind the Sun), is adapted by José Rivera from the journals of two real-life young Argentines, Alberto Granado and Ernesto Guevara de la Serna - the latter of whom would become "El Che."

In January 1952, Ernesto (played by Gael García Bernal) is a 23-year-old medical student specializing in leprology. Alberto (Rodrigo de la Serna), age 29, is a biochemist. The two men bid goodbye to their families and to Ernesto's girlfriend Chichina Ferreyra (Mía Maestro). Flush with a romantic sense of adventure, they pile onto Alberto's 1939 Norton 500 motorcycle (nicknamed "La Poderosa" ["The Mighty One"]). The aging bike carries them farther and farther away from familiar and comfortable Buenos Aires surroundings, to surprising and exciting destinations. The two friends become as close as brothers.

Over the course of eight months and 8,000 miles, what starts out as a lark becomes a profound journey of discovery, not only of themselves but of a continent filled with infinite sorrow - and infinite hope. From homeless miners to riverboat prostitutes, from lepers to prosperous gentry, Ernesto and Alberto discover an affinity for humanity within themselves, and a determination to change the world."

(Taken from the official website http://www.motorcyclediariesmovie.com/home.html)

Cinematography 5 stars, sound track 5 stars. (Website allows free listeing of sound tracks, most of the tracks have either have a very "wanderlust" feeling or typical South American flavour to it )

I only managed to catch this show on its last week of screening and was damn grateful for it. This was a welcome change for me after all e comedies and action flicks in cinemas for the whole of 2004. So i urge all of you for a finall time, go catch this show. Onli word i learnt from the show "Gracias" which means thank u.... hhahah

Evolution of clubbing... For me that is

2004-09-30T01:03:00.000+08:00

Wooh its been a long time since I've blogged... Even longer since I've clubbed.... Tink the last time was at KL..

As Lester was leaving for UK to further his studies, he jioed us out for a last cheong(neva liked e word cheong... sounds so barbaric.. clubbing sounds more classy ahhaah) at ZOUK.

On a side note: Hey Bro! You take care and have a wonderful time over there. Yeah I know its sian but lan lan la... Who noes u might like it more over there. Its always hard starting a new phase in life. Damn tiring and exhausting but who noes, might turn out for e betta. Once again Bon Voyage and keep in touch. Wah all e bears goin different places to study, maybe our international pimp syndicate might really work... heh

Yeah so we decided to take this chance to meet up one last time b4 ah Loi zao. Ah lim was sick.. sian.... clubbing wont be as crazy without him round. E dumb MJ also didnt wanna go ZOUK... scared gf kb..... hahah nvm la i understand.

When we were turning into ZOUK, a feeling of awkwardness and nostalgia crept over us... We used to go ZOUK quite often(as compared to recently..) when were were still trapped in e Army. We felt v out of place... its like we've outgrown e ZOUK kinda life (if we do grow up la... hahah). Chee was saying its e kinda feeling when u go back and visit ur old secondary sch hahaha. Well put man... well put..

Personally, the purpose and motivation of clubbing have evolved....
Then: Clubbing = 50% Having Fun + 20% getting High + 30% Chee Hong.... (i was in e army.. I noe excuses are of no use but try to understand haha)

Now: 60% Having Fun with frens + 20% distressing from work + 20% Getting High from drinking

I can understand why clubbing appeals to the working crowd... Its really a form of distressing... I mean i cant dance for nuts but jus moving your body to e music and jus letting go is damn enjoyable.Working life is damn sucky man... so appreciate it if you are still schooling....

I was actually kinda excited going clubbing today. I really needed to go crazy as to destress from work. I was ard 12am when we started queuing up. We were kinda anxious to get in as there wasn't much time left... How come majority of e crowd always queue at e ZOUK side but not e Phuture side?? Same rite?? Don care la... shorter queue for me.. Unsolved mysteries in life...

I always preferred to go Phuture but all of me preferred Retro... Lester's party so jus suit him haha. So carried out standard procedure... Drink get high then go dance floor. Went bar counter got a jug wif Lester. Burbon coke... not v gain but wth. So we were standing there drinking when square roots was played.... hahah damn spastic la but its like 1 on THE mambo songs lor. then all became damn gian wanted to get high and hit e dance floor fast... so we got 2 more jugs and a shot each.. 1 shot $10.50... xia ren fang huo hahah but betta then KL zouk... I bought Evian water for 20 Ringgit... sian sia... Then felt a bit high. I hate it when i turn red from drinking... look damn bloated hahah... and i turn red quite easily...

So we went down to the dance floor and as usual it was packed like seow... Whats WORSE, recruits from BMT jus P.O.P... e whole floor was full of botaks.... Cmon la P.O.P only... your dumbass army life jus started... don be too happy hahah.

Wah then jus let go and tried to have fun. A group of frens having fun completely f care everything else, good feelin sia. Dance and dance but retro lei... i was damn sian with certain songs la... Like HTF can u move to Radio head's Creep....
In e past, Songs like "in e end" and "its my life was fun" but today we were like leaving on previous highness. Its like when u hear e song u go "wah" but after that jus stand there feelin kinda sian hahah. i mean those kinda songs its more of head shaking then moving ur bod..
Out grown mamboo liao.. mus find new music and outlets....

I was like praying for Ushers "Yeah" or outkast "Heya" but no...... The closest that came to satisfying me was Nelly's "Hot in here" but they only played it for like 30 seconds................ GRRRRRgrrrrrrrrr.

When got sian, I would jus stare at the podium with the 2 hot babes on it... fwah hot.. *drool* kkk snap out of it haha. A bapok joined em eventually sia... hahah

Oh ya as I was enjoying myself, i felt some ass bumping against me. So i turned and saw 1 dumbass couples moving as if they were trying to mate standing up... i was a bit irritated la.... after a while, i realised the same gal was like doing the same things a diff guy... wah lau turn off man... U do wat u wan, jus don f%$#ing ome bump me...

Yeah so we stayed till the whole ting ended. I was satisfied in some ways but disappointed in others. Stamina really drop le.... mus be old liao hahahah. Hmmm guess itll be some time before i club again... mus find new clubs le la... ZOUK losing its appeal le hahah.

Certificate presentation

2004-09-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

CERTIFICATE

APPRECIATION

This Cert was presented to certify:

S(NRIC), CHELSEA TING was appreciated on 17-09-04 for mentioning ME on her Blog on 15-09-04.

@#&*@%

Mr Lionel Chai

Owner of Blog

excerpt from superman: secret identity comic

2004-08-29T14:23:00.000+08:00

Superman: secret identity. This series is about a guy who has identical powers as superman and how he coped with it in different stages of his life. Here an excerpt from e ending i really liked. i find it v beautiful so jus wanna share wif whoever thats readin my blog

Someplace v high up,
The old guy was floatin in the sky,thinking:

"I find myself watchin a lot of sunsets."

"The World is changing, But the world is always changin."

"It changes around us, It changes us.... we cant stop it."

"And sunsets are beautiful. Stately, graceful, a slow majestic inevitability."

"Beautiful."

"And they are endings. Theres no getting away from them. they are endings, all right."

"I had a good life."

"Different from the most but not all that different. Maybe I had a 'Secret Identity', But then when you think about it, dont we all?"

"A part of ourselves where very few people get to see."

"The part we tink as 'Me'. The part that deals with the big stuff. Makes the real choices. The part everything else is a reflection of."
"Mine was jus a lil louder then e rest."

Wont get sued for copyright hor?
Anway the writer is Kurt Busiek and the artist is Stuart Immonen.

16 august 1983

2004-08-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

R 21st B days really tat special? The significant period for me was when I first gotten my freedom. Anyway I spent the whole day in the office till around 8 plus. Still had to drive Marina home...

then on 17th, I went to pick Marina up (she boss, lan lan la...)
She told me Dawn and her havin lunch with client while meeting, so ask me drop her at Delifrance buy makan. Upon reaching office, I went to the wash room. Then e crazy Dawn shouted outside and told me to go help Marina move some boxes from the conference room.... While walkin to the conference room, I noticed that no one was in the office... I took a peek into the studio and it was totally empty... I agar agar noe got suprise party le la.... But mus act suprise ma... Don let them waste effort....

So when I opened the door, for that one moment (tat 1 moment onli la) it was like those perfect Bday suprises you see on Tv(only flaw was that it wasnt really a suprise haha but I was really touched by the gesture). A dark room with a cake full of candles, balloons hanging around, everyone smiling and wishing me Happy 21st.... AND THEN BOOM!!! Stupid Nat exploded 1 of those party crackers into my face... Lucky nuthing serious..... Then they pray me with all e party crap... They dunno how to spray la... Mus grab the guy and spray into his clothes ma.... Spray on surface useless one.... Then after that all e standard stuff lor. Take pic, cut cake etc etc. I was really fascinated by the candles cos no matter how hard u blow, it will relight itself!!!! Got so bad till it almost melted the cake hahaha. I tried snuffing it out by flicking it but even then it relit itself... power sia..

Cut cake, eat cake then Jess wack me with the cake.... And since she started... I not goin to let them go too hahaah. After that mus clean up the damn place. luckily the cleaning up turned out ok.

I was really touched as I mentioned above because Im just a temp there ma... then heard the studio people stayed till 11plus to decorate the place up. Much appreciated. Wah lau Marina's reply to my "thank You" msg was encouraging but gave me goosebumps at the same time sia.... Even Izzy agreed

Hahaha I was tinkin maybe for this year I wont be getting a cake for Bday as i didnt really felt like celebrating my 21st. too troublesome(too many clicks etc). Even when my parents asked i was like no la nvm.. 21st no biggy. But eventually still had 1....

Wah anyway work is really drivin me crazy. Weekdays goin home around 9pm. And weekends all burned.... Wah madness man
i really feel burnt out... reachin limit soon... sian haha

Hmm was I struck by the fri 13 curse? And can anyone explain Deja Vu to me

2004-08-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

Hmmm gotta blog this down man..... 5 star entertainment value due to my top class dumbassness ( dumbassness hahaha, new word? )

As usual work n work e whole day, then around 4 plus I felt drained of energy. Symptoms of an illness??? So I decided to leave at 6 pm after Marina left for Kl haha. Chao geng when boss not ard....... Don wanna fall sick or if not the upcoming weeks would be hell... no one else noes how to go about doing the Nestle promotion.. Even if sick Marina also wont let me go...

So at 6 I was happily drivin home when I got a phone call from Marina.... She was saying Nat n Izzy having trouble preparing the stage area for United Square. Hiaz so I decided to go down and help since the event is tomorrow. The worse thing was I didn't know how to drive there...... That is 1 area I seldom go to.... So I got some directions from Izzy then I anyhow hantam. kana jia lat jia lat traffic jams and got to Newton area. From there check directory and then anyhow hantam again..... I only know its somewhere around Novena Square. So after passing novena Square, I decided to turn into a small lane to consult the Street Directory. Upon turning in, there was a shopping centre there...... Walla! United square in front of me..... Heng rite...... For next 3 Saturdays and maybe Sunday might get burned cos of US event... =(

So after settling the stage, we da bao dinner and went back office as Nat still had work. YanYing and Jess was still around at 9 plus....... That is normal, work in event company v poor thing 1...... So we makan and then tok kok.... After eating, I was going to leave with izzy but cant find the car keys......................

Search and search.... Finally no choice have to search the big bin downstairs........
So sad..... reminds me of 30 SCE initiation.... So pungent and disgusting but what to do.... I tired till blur liao so didn't notice myself dropping the key in.... At night rummaging thru rubbish... damn idiot... haha. Jess say today Fri 13th... o_0

But what really got me there was that I dreamt of that exact same scene a few years ago..... reason why I remembered so vivdly was because who the hell dreams of themselves going thru rubbish in the middle of the night along a street.... When I woke from this dream, I couldn't relate it to anything. And so it stuck to my mind. The street lights, the position the bin was lying on the road, the place where Jess and Izzy standing there, people staring at us... It was all so similar. Actually the day before while sitting at the conference room, I also had another Deja vu attack.

When I went army for the 1st year, I had lotsa Deja vu but it stopped. Now its starting to come again... hmmm can anyone explain why??

"Dreeeeeaaammms, dreams dreams dreams"

liberation.. wats tat???

2004-08-09T22:23:00.000+08:00

When will i get my liberation?
Hiaz
Was feelin ok tis few weeks
equlibrium affected again =(

Says WANT to talks tings over..... but does he listen?
Or am i the one not willing to talk?
Feel like s'pore's political scene...... (will i get arrested for saying tis?)
Wats more, no way to resign from tis job....

sian......

"Do we always gotta cry? Do we gotta live inside a lie???"-Limp Bizkit

??????????

2004-08-08T13:23:00.000+08:00

Hmmm been so long....... still no mood although there was quite a few interesting incidents... try to blog it down next time if i can remeber haha. Tired maN!!!!!!!!!

Shirley has quit her job... im dead man........

rant rant rant

2004-07-27T20:17:00.000+08:00

tink my blog will die soon. Now i realise when ppl got time, their mind full of crap so can write a lot hhaha. The good ting is im adapting to work. Since go home also not much free time, OT now feels much betta. No expectation really helps

Is it worth it? lemme work it...

2004-07-25T21:55:00.000+08:00

Been so tired from work for the past few days until no energy left to blog.....Do Slip shod 1...

Anyway I got a job for some event company in Bugis.(Thks to Nelly) 1300 without CPF and OT. 9-6. Sounds not too bad rite.... Wrong........

Day 1: Sai kang day..... cant zzzz nite before. Slept at 4 am... Dazed for the whole day. Stare at Disney's 'Kim possible' paper for the whole day... There was onli like 6 person in the company. The boss (Marina), manager (Shirley), 3 in studio (Izzy, Yan Ying and Jess) and Mr office boy... Theres a Don who was still at Malaysia.
I guess they are ok people but still too early to tell...

Day 2: Started badly. Woke up and lost 1 side of my contacts while tryin to stuff them into my eyes... Had to open new pair. Heartache. 10 more days to end of mth... waste money. Work work work then left at ard 630pm. E boss like buei soong... I temp lei... its supposed to be till 6 anyway.. The perms kept hinting abt the management during lunch....a 13 yr company with only 3 years perms means a high turn over rate....They kept saying its better to know all this so can be mentally prepared. I scareded haha.

Day 3 (friday): Was full of incidents. 1st half day was ok. After makan finish lunch continue to work. Till now I don even noe the lunch hours. When they go makan I jus tag along. So sickening, don even have time to rest... After lunch Shirley asked me go post office buy stamp. An uncle ard 40 yrs old was queuing in front of me. He kept staring at me for no reason. I became DAMN buei soong. But lan lan, workin now, don wanna get into trouble. Izzy said must be 1 of the many mad ah peks ard here. Was supposed to fold and put e 300 letters into envelopes and send out by 5pm. Not forgetting the stamping. When I cleared my other jobs, it was already 330pm... How is it possible? While folding, I was constantly interrupted to do other chores. At 7plus, I only finished 200+. Bought the rest home to do as meeting the 30 bears at nite...

We were supposed to go Walla Walla at Holland V but it was too crowded. So ended up in Boat Quay. Wah parking damn seong. Heart pain.... A few of them going overseas soon. Sian.

Day 4 (Saturday): Was supposed to go down at 1030. Shirley msg me said only can make it at 1130... Said raining v nice to zzzzz. Since I also wanted to zzzz I replied saying I don mind if its later.... Wah lau she ended up goin at 2 plus.... When I asked if could wear berms, she said can don wear anything also. Talking dirty?? muahahaha. I ended work at 5 plus... But if don go down today, will bring over to next week and I WILL end up dead. So hectic there.
Saturday gone.... too tired to go out at nite also.........

When I was bumming, didn't appreciate the freedom to zzz late and wake late... When u lose something, then u realise the value of it. From what I heard from the perms staff, OT is v common there. Now its a Sunday.. Tomorrow start of another dreaded week..... Sian to max. Since I no life do OT also nvm I guess haha. Wasted no OT pay....
I was thinking if I was a perm and doing the same work, I would die. No sense of fufillment at all... So Disgusting. Since Im aware now, better prepare myself well for my future. Don wanna end up feeling empty...

Wallow Wallow Wallow. Everybody loves self pity

2004-07-19T02:23:00.000+08:00

Another Sunday and once again, I almost decided to skip church (top priority to go hell le. Betta don play heh). But somehow I managed to dig hard and miraculously found a spark of discipline from deep deep deep down. Its getting harder and harder every week... bad bad bad bad bad..... too many excuses.

Side story... Dammit I have damn disappointed with my sis recently. Pissed me off before goin to church. I really wish she would be more sensible and responsible. Shes only 13 this yr so am I being too harsh by setting high expectations for her? Just want her to be a better person and not some f&%ked up person in the future... Hope she will become better with time. (sounds like wine hahah)

Eventually went and was extremely glad as learned new things. For the homily, the priest was discussing about " Self Pity ". As the name suggest, it is self inflicted and the symptoms are complaining and more complaining.... He stated sharing and talking over problems is an act of wisdom( wah I very wise then ). But after identifying, you should come out with solutions and not sink deeper within your self pity.

Secondly, people who wallow in self pity are usually oblivious of the blessings they are surrounded with. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. They are insatiable often ignoring the blessings they have already received.

Personally, I have to admit Ive gone thru phases of my life when I indulge in self pity. I feel Im the saddest life form on earth. No future, no friends, no life. I want people to tell me everything is alright, blah blah blah.
After that when I look back, I feel so disgusted with myself.... Yucks self pity... Extremely disgusting....

When I see someone who indulge in self pity, I feel sorry and sometimes turned off. There are times when I can relate to the pain and sadness that the other party is going through but Ive also seen people who always feel so sorry for themselves at every lil thing.... I never would want people to pity me, so what right do I have to pity others?

Everyone is forever thinking they are e saddest life form on earth... so pls wake up ya... Myself included that is.
Guess we should have more empathy instead pity. From what I experienced, when you are satisfied with what you currently have, you would not fall into the cycle of self pity. So lets try to be easily contented and feel happy. Gonna die anyway, slog so much for what. Enjoy the beauty of the world woohoo. ( NOT asking everyone to be hippies k....)

"Cos all of the stars are fading away, Just try not to worry you'll see them some day, Take what you need and be on your way, and stop crying your heart out"- Oasis

Why is it blue huh??????

2004-07-17T02:13:00.000+08:00

"Why is it blue huh????"

First of all, I would like to SPECIALLY dedicate this blog to the most retarded person ( currently top of e list ), Cherlyn. When her nick for MSN was 'Cherlyn is retarded', I gave her a benefit of a doubt... but after today... the truth is out there....

Aziz, Cher and me went to Lido and caught "King Arthur" today. The show was alright. Enjoyed the 1st 2/3 of the show. Last 1/3 very standard. As per SOP...

After that we chatted the whole day away. Everything was going fine till the moment just before we decided to go home. After getting drinks from Citi Links 7-11, we decided to take a rest at 1 of the benches. That was when THE QUESTION came out haha.

(summarised.... If not writing down the whole thing will result in loss of blood from vomiting)

"Why the people will gradually turn blue when they are shooting their bows huh?"
Aziz and me knew Cher IS slow, so weren't that shocked wif the dumb QN.

"Cher, thats called war paint, its kinda like camouflage used in our army. Get it?"

Cher:"Why only when they shoot arrows then will turn blue"

Lio:"Cos only before a battle will they don their war paint.... Its a blue paint. Thats why their skin is blue in colour. Get it?"

Cher:"No.. But I saw their skins gradually turning from flesh to blue and a darker blue through out the battle...."

Lio rolls his eyes at Aziz. "Are u sure? Maybe you are sharp and spotted a fiming error? So theoretically the people painted themselves blue before the battle. Their skins did not turn blue. So its the director's lousy directing that misled you..... So now do you understand why their skins are blue?"

Cher:"NO... How can you push all the blame to the director. Don accept your explanation."

Lio trying very hard not to strangle Cher... " Aziz, you get wat I mean right?"
Ziz agrees as every sane human would. " Cher, this show is supposedly based on historical fact... so there no fantasy element in it like LOTR. Can humans be blue skinned????"

Cher:"I talking about those blue skin people lei.."

Lio:"Those are Britons aka humans....... so can human be blue skinned???"
Ziz nods.

Cher: "But why are they blue skinned?"

Lio exasperated:"But is it possible for humans to be blue skinned???? As I said maybe directing error or you saw wrong.. Aziz kill me man..."

This went on for a while more without any conclusion. So we went home......... IM gonna have nightmares sia. Must be careful wat shows we catch next time. Right Aziz? heh. Cher don take it to heart k! Fun fun ma hahah

( P. S: Cher isn't as dumb as I say she is. Entertainment sake haha. But every word from the conversation was true... Judge for yourself..... )

"Why is it blue huh??? Sweeping statement...."-Cherlyn

Musings: Laziness cycle and blogging

2004-07-14T15:27:00.000+08:00

Always having trouble sleeping recently. I tink my brain is at its optimum output jus before sleeping. All the interesting and exciting ideas would arise at that moment making it harder for me to zzzzzzzzzz. And me being lazy would not bother to record them down. Imagine in middle of night start recording or doing stuff. Forever no need to rest le.. And upon reaching the next day, half of the ideas would be forgotten or don seem as exciting to carry them out. Hmmm Im trapped in the laziness cycle... Just like everything else in my life... damn haha

Blogging to me is really fun. My initial aim of blogging was more of keeping a personal diary but I realised tat wasnt possible. Privacy does not exist in the WWW. Guess if there was a special occasion or incident, it would have been recorded within your heart, no need for a dumb blog haha. So now bloggin is for my stoopid ramblings, complains, musings etc etc to share with my friends.

Used to have many ideas and topics to write on. But after writing a few, its becoming kinda tedious. Present issues keep increasing so its hard to find time for the older ones. I tink because the grey matter in my head is running low........ so cannot really work it too hard or might end up mad........

I really wanna do a write up on Naruto and Niel Gaiman's SandMan series but a bit too chim lei ( some Unis overseas use the sandMan series for their literature lessons & exams )...a lot of things to cover. Really a lot a lot. See got time and energy a not....Or maybe do 1 on comics in general. Sure gonna be damn long man. Sian. Slowly la.

"someone u can lend a hand, in return of grace, Its a beautiful day"-U2

2HR CURFEW!

2004-07-14T02:06:00.000+08:00

No more then 2 hrs on comp!!!!!!!! hopefully................ No more slavery! freedom heh.

Nice Sunday

2004-07-12T16:26:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm, this particular Sunday was.... fufiling?
As usual I woke up around late noon and after makan, I came online. Aziz was askin me how was my Sunday and I told him I just woke....my life only begins after 5 p.m now....

So after doin my stuff online, I had to go to Church. Im starting to become lazy about going to church again.... Half way through the mass I was thinking whether to leave half way as I had a Bball game later at night.. But after a conscience struggle, my angel won ( which is rare.. maybe at church so home ground advantage haha ). I don really like to share my feelings about religion as it is very personal to me. The priest for that particular mass was normally based in Kenya and for some reason, he had to drop by our sunny island. So in a way he was like a guest speaker.

Father Antonio had been stayin in Kenya for 20 odd years. This was suprising as he looked rather young. I really respect people who can give up comfort of their own life to help people who are more in need. Kenya can be considered as a 3rd world country rite? Anyway he was sharing this incident that happened in Kenya regarding an old lady.

Heres a brief summary of the incident: They were driving back to their town after a long trip to some place which I cant remember. He was saying there was no street lights and the roads were full of pothole. Robbers might be ambushing along the roads to pounce on the unwary. So basically its damn dangerous la... Along the way, they saw an old lady sitting by the road side alone. So they pulled over and see if they could give the lady a lift home. Initially there was some communication barrier and eventually they gathered that the old lady was homeless. So they drove her to their destination and contacted the police and relevant agencies to find help. Most welfare organisations could not take her in due to their policies and red tapes. Fortunately, a Muslim organisation was able to take her in.

So Father Antonio was saying he was kinda disappointed with his own organisation for not being able to help the lady. He decided on that day to be more practical and less theoretical. I can understand perfectly what he was saying. I feel I tink too much at time instead of doing things and end up not doin anythin... Remember those idiotic authorities from Taiwan? 3 person were trapped in a flood and due to the different Govt authorities pushing the burden to each other, the 3 person eventually drowned.. All it required was 1 damn helicopter from either the police, army, air force etc....

Anyway lets move on. After church I went for my basket ball game. Its been 2 whole months sinced I played Bball man! Soooo gian! Went down to the court to meet Zy and WenHan aka arnold aka Bernard. Really was damn rusty.. cant do anything properly. But it was still super enjoyable. But I tink im really gettin old. My back keep giving me probs recently and stamina decrease like seow. Then play against those pros.... the standard so far away, makes me wonder why I play Bball....

Talking about standards..... I was watching this competition "Mathknows" on ESPN. It was like a math tournament for kids below 12. Each kid represents a state from the US. I finally understand why ppl say kids are monsters!!! They are able to solve math Qns in less than a min which would take me 2-3 mins to solve. I couldnt even solve some of them.... ( I know cant compare la... my academic area not good ma.. )It was in elimination format. The semis was damn cool. The top 2 seeds v.s the bottom 2 seeds. I was hoping for an upset. The top 2 seeds were super geeks sia.... The bottom 2 seemed more normal haha. You should have seen the face of the parents from the top seed when he answered wrongly. The shock + anger + disappointment on their face... Then when they realise the cameras on them, they try to act normal.... KAO! Eventually the top seed won la..... sian.

This really made me realised what the phrase " out of my league" meant. No way can I be like them... The bottom seed who is 12 yrs old got 1500 for his SAT test... Im 18 that time and got like 1200+ .......

Okie back to my Sunday. Went home makan shower, read the papers ( love the Sunday format of straits time. So much more things ) then went online. Wah so many people online. This week miracle man. Got quite a few outings ( maybe cos went church heh ) Aziz + Cher, Abi, 30 sce bros, Sy and maybe chelz. And the cool thing was Peini has lobang for welfare work. Shes gonna update me soon... I hope... But doin alone v sian la. But most startin UNI liao.

Actually when they start Uni, its easier for me to concentrate and carry out my PLANS hehe. Hey frens don get the wrong idea k. Not saying u ppl are burden. Never never.

" Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you, But when you feel so powerless what are you gonna do? So say what you want "-Nelly Furtado ( v nice cheek bones )

Nitemares galore.......

2004-07-11T02:41:00.000+08:00

This is seriously shitty.... I seldom get serious nightmares, maybe once every 3 months to half a year. But within 3 days, Ive managed to get 3..... and wats rarer is 2 out of 3 are supernatural category. Lame........

Nitemare 1 on Friday: House kana poltergiest attack.
Nitemare 2 also on Friday, continue after Nightmare 1: JC era, forgot about tuition, extremely late for it.

Halfway thru 2nd nitemare my dumb brain realised IM dreamin, so managed to recover. But damaged was done... sleep was disturbed. I tink I slept on a full stomach, thats why suffered from the NMs. 2 hit combo somemore.........

Nitemare 3 was on Saturday night: Was in this broken down 3 storey house during evening. Realised have to get out of there fast cos something was coming at nite. Next scene was already nightfall. So I gathered my stuff and was preparin to get my ass out of the place when I felt the presence approaching. Was thinking: 'die, y so suei'. So I decided to out smart the "thing" by hiding behind the door, hopping to give him the slip. But my dumb bag was too fat... so OBVIOUSLY it knew I was there if it opened the door...and there wasnt anywhere else to hide in the room. Finally decided to charge thru/pass him depending on its size. Upon doing that, I saw the 'thing' for the 1st time. It was a Minotaur/sasquatch thingy. I was thinking: die so big size how to charge pass him but somehow I did ( or end of story le ). So I flew down the stairs but from the corner of my eyes, I could see him walkin down nonchalantly. Completely confident I would never get away.. Upon reaching the bottom, I had to open the main door using the keys I had. I thought to myself: 'Must not panic like those characters in dumb horror shows'... But after failing to open the door after 2 tries, I started to panic... The 'thing' had already reached the bottom of the stairs by then. So I decided to look for another exit. I ran down the corridor and there was 2 rooms on each side. 1 led to the kitchen, the other to a room with a glass window. I shut the wooden door and wondered how long would the fragile thing hold against it. There were small openings at the bottom of the door and I was expecting to see its foot anytime soon. But after opening the window, I did not hear or see him thru the gaps. So was wondering if he was trying to route me. It was at this point I realised again it was a nitemare..... and got myself to wake up.......

Upon waking, I realised both my legs were feeling shaky and my body was perspiring out of fear haha. Another night of sleep ruined. I slept on a hungry stomach somemore... must be the flu bug man. Brain confused.....

To me, the fear factor of a nitemare depends on the level or realism. Therefore supernatural stuff aint that scary..... How often are you going to encounter them....... A human pyscho killer to me is definitely way scarier. Wat REALLY scared me for the last nightmare was the feeling of helplessness. Of being a prey. The predator was so much bigger sized and muscular that there was no way I could out power him. And his swaggering composure gave me the impression there was no way I could out smart him either. So basically it a downhill plunge struggling to survive.........

"Say your prayers lil one, don forget my son, to include everyone. I tuck you in all within, keep you free from sin, till the sandman comes, sleep with 1 eye opened, grippin your pillow tight."-Metallica ( enter Sandman )

Lionel defeated the evil HTML today. Won the battle but not the war....

2004-07-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

Arghhh spend so much time on the comp today cos flu. Lazy to go out.... Finally got my new blog skin and spent the whole day trying to personalise it. So damn ma fan and irritatin. Ask so many ppl for help. I give a BIG "THANK YOU" for all those that had assisted me. I really hate the computer cos im computer illiterate..... But no problem, I defeated the evil HTML today. Victory is mine!

I've got AN IDEA! HEH HEH

2004-07-09T05:58:00.000+08:00

Once again, another sleepless nite.... cant take it anymore. But tonight, thats a good ting cos *smirk* Ive got AN IDEA heh heh heh......

Switched on tv feeling damn sian and then I heard THE SONG. "Heya" by OUTKAST. That really got me up hahha. Was channel surfing National Geographic and the music channels when I got AN IDEA. I suddenly remembered Weilun tellin me that he was doing part time journalism with the chinese news papers ( cool rite! ) and jus did an article regarding the Botanical Gardens. So was tinkin Ive haven been there for a while hmmm should I jus go down jalan a bit. That was when I realised I haven really explored the other parts of Singapore except maybe only the East. Ive always complained Spore was a boring place yadda yadaa... so why don I go check it out for real this time.

Tentatively going China also, so betta learn how to move around and stop complaining about long distances. And I tink its rather low cost so don cost much $$$. Broke la....

Heres the general outline of the plan:

Tools needed: 1) Street Directory ( Sidney has I tink, go borrow )

2) Bus guide ( Got older version. Hope its reliable. Might be able to drive dads car... only IF its here soon and I can afford the cost. Comfort level will definitely increase along wif e cost..... Road direction sucks... NVM can learn learn learn )

3) Money ( Go get part time )

4) Camera ( ZY, have to borrow again.. Abang here broke )

5) My notebook and stationeries ( I have my own k! )

Course of action: 1) Identify all the interesting areas and try to look out for combos to cut cost

2) Take pictures and notes of the places
- Opening / closing time
- Entrance fee
- Methods of transport
- interesting stuff

Frequency of visits: 1) One area every fort night? ( Work weekdays then visit on weekends? Weekends crowded toh.... Tentative )

D DAY H Hour: 2 weeks from now! (Secure a job and return to my normal zzz timing. Think by then everyone startin Uni life le. So I guess I'll be e only 1 bumming around.)

Anything I missed out?????? Macham doing army ops order........ yucks..
Hope can sustain this. Why did it take me so long to tink of this???
Well, even if doesn't turn out well, jus tinking about it was already fun =) Hee Hee so bo liao so fun hahaha. Damn 6 a.m le........ hmmm tink I saw a bottle of red wine in the fridge.............

"C'MON, we do it while we still can, we do it while we still can.." - Wild surf by ASH

P.S Anyone wif suggestions feel free to add comments. Thanks!

Another miserable ODAC outing..... BUT I enjoyed it =)

2004-07-09T01:21:00.000+08:00

Anyhow summarize............recently brain fluid low.... v low

Anyway the few survivors were Fidah, Theresa, Laiping and me. James last ,in couldn't make it due to his bro's grad. Elan got the flu bug. Actually small number also better, easier to talk hee. Been a while since I saw them.

So went V8 restaurant, makan & chit chat. Fidah was saying a lot of gays and trans are workin at Body Shops and all the funny incidents she encountered. Told them watever interesting happenings I had.

Then went to visit Fidah's Bf who was workin at Adidas. Sorry Fidah but he was a total ass la.... so petty, macham gal.. Go be your air stewardess la. Let him suffer hahah.
Then ended up at coffee bean and continue to chit chat. Fidah then left to meet BF.
And then there was 3.

I asked them on their plans for the future etc as that is my greatest concern right now. I realized most of my frens feel that I am lucky to be threading on my current path. I do not disagree but things are never that simple. Or am I the one who doesn't want to make it simple? F@$k up character have I?.

LP also said ODAC is goin down in SRJC. Tats sad man......... My main motivation in JC disappearing. At least I had an enjoyable time.
Asked them for good places to chill and are not very expensive.... No lobang lei... LP has quite a few interesting outdoor prepositions but Ive got no $........

Then Theresa and LP started to talk about her current R/S. Jus realised Im the only single guy there heh. So I could only give my comments from previous ones haha. Hmmm realised a lot of guys v possesive, really pity my female frens. But females r weird too man....... really from venus....

As both of them workin tomorrow, so couldnt stay late. Hope Theresa manages to find me the job. Need some income and help pass time. She a bit KTV seow now... warned her abt going KTV with me le.... end up with bleeding ears hahah. Btw thanks for listening on the trip back. Appreciated!
Hope all of them work out on their R/S issue. Good luck for watever!

"Bounce round from cloud to cloud, I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down,If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied"- Santana Feat Alex Band ( Tis song gets me high man woohoo )

Time to move on

2004-07-06T23:13:00.000+08:00

Euro is over, time to make my life more productive. been saying that for dunno how long le... Hiaz tinkin of the future gets me down man.... Cmon wake up!!!!! Hope everything turns out well

EURO 2004 Finale: A nation is mourning and Im having a gastric pain and a lighter pocket

2004-07-05T04:42:00.000+08:00

Lightning has struck thrice and my curse has not been broken...... Greece HAVE won the euro 2004 Championship against all odds. I seldom suffer from gastric pain but Im experiencin a damn bad 1 while typin the blog just after the match.

I wonder if I had betted on the Greeks, would Portugal have succeeded? I ting so.... Too late anyway. Due to my stupid gastric pain, my brain cant really work now so I shall jus struggle thru a short blog.

As usual lets see where the blame goes to.
villain No 1: Pauleta ( no presence, keep losing ball )
villain No 2: Paulo Ferreira ( Stop crossing u dumb defender, u suck big time and Chelsea wants to buy u? pls..... Do me a favour don come Liverpool )

Cannot take it, dumb gastric... tomorrow then continue........

Under Performers: Basically the whole mid field. Figo, Deco ( stop goin down so easily! ), Rui Costa ( stop shooting! Your goal against England was lucky! ), Maniche ( average game... )

The few that played well: Star No 1: Christiano Ronaldo ( The only live wire in mid field)
Star No 2: The back line. Ricardo Carvalho was "The MAN". From Portugal's 1st match to the last, he showed remarkable consistency. Covering his fellow defenders excellently when they ventured up field to support the offence.

Miguel was doing a fine job of supporting the offence down the right flank until his injury. And up came the dumbo Paulo Ferreira...

Ricardo, Carvalho, Miguel, Valante and Andrade supported by Costinha managed to shut out the most of the Greek offence effectively except for the fatal corner.

I applaud the Greeks on their sensational victory. They played well and truly deserved it. I do not know the Greek players well so cant give any break down. But generally the whole team was superb. Nikapolidis aka the goal keeper had many top class saves to keep the Greeks on course for the victoy.

Bravo to the Greeks!

Oh ya at around 81st min, there was an idotic pitch invader that threw a Barca flag at Figo and then later on flung himself into the net. It was damn hilarious haha. Sebei Bo liao haha.

Hiaz money fly away again.... Towards the 75min, I was even prepared for Portugal to draw the game for extra time even if it meant losing money. I so badly wanted them to win..... Guess theres no conspiracy haha. This is indeed the year of the UNDER DOGS..

"Who let the DOGS out! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! Who let the dogs out!"- Baha men
(Dammit cant believe I still can laugh about it hahah, Sad lei heh)

BTW for Wimbloden, Federer and Sharapova won their titles respectively. Upset for women's tennis also haha.

Pls let Portugal win!!!!

2004-07-04T20:44:00.000+08:00

Ive decided to bet on Portugal so viva la Portugal!!! OLE~~!

Musings for spider man2 : Surprisingly I truly enjoyed the show

2004-07-03T02:08:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, I was never a fan of spidey. The reason why I went to catch this show was cos my frens wanted to watch. Surprisingly, I truly enjoyed the show. Ironically, more then my friends.

Generally the story line is kinda cliched and the action scenes were good. My friends commented that the fight scenes were no longer refreshing but was alright for me. What got me up was the performances by the actors and the amount of emotions potrayed during the show and not the action scenes.

While watching the show, I felt I could relate to the situations / emotions that each of the characters were going through at different stages. Im not going to talk abt the sappy scenes at all. For matters of the heart, it cannot be understood no matter how much you try. So lets forget it. But I like the the message shown about : "wat is yours, will be yours. No point forcing."

Hiya, actually wanted to write a long 1 for this but too lazy... brain drain... No mood to tink too much. The parts about Peter lacking CONVICTION and thus losing his powers as spidey really strucked me. In life, CONVICTION is a very important thing for me. If you cannot even convince yourself, where do you get the credibility to convince others. Now I am still very reluctant to accept my tentative path in life. This is really a big worry. Hope I can find my CONVICTION soon.
Peter was telling Mary Jane about sometimes you jus have to give up precious things including your dreams to do what is right. I guess I also have to come to terms about giving up what I want to get back my conviction. But am I doin the right thing for my situation?

At times, I guess all of us will feel lonely and dejected. Thinking no one else understands or feels for us. For case of Parker, his social / love life was all going topsy turvey due to his commitments as spidey. Throughout the show, he realised he does have support from his Aunt May, the public and most importantly Mary Jane. Although he did draw strength from his aunt and the public, his revelation came when MJ finally understood the reasons for his actions. I guess it really counts when someone special understands and ecourages you.

I tink Aunt May and Doc OCT was really brought to life by RoseMary Harris and Alfred Molina respectively. The 1 character that would disappoint spidey fans a lil would be Mary Jane Watson. I really enjoyed Kirsten Dunst performance. Its just that shes not MJ material. MJ in the comics is a sexy, foxy and sultry red head. Do you see that in Kirsten? Her hair isn't even red enough in tis sequel. I like Kirsten but she jus doesnt suit the character for this show.
The MJ potrayed by Kirsten is a nice, down to earth and non-prissy gal. Actually, I personally prefer Kirsten's version of MJ better haha.

Now to my favorite part, THE KISSING SCENES muahaha. Super enjoyed them hahaha. Lemme act opposite Kirsten for those scenes pls!!!! 'Kiss Kiss Kiss' *Swoon*.......
Heh ok back to normal le. My 1 min of madness haha.

I tink its ok to watch this show for $8.50. but if you don like it, its ur "tai 3 zhi 1" k.

"I will rather be dead then living half alive everyday and not being able to live out of my own choices" - MJ to Peter. ( Really liked this line but cant rem exact phrasing.. )

(Finally.....overdued le..... damn tired... eyes closing.......... 5a.m soon. zzzz)

Complains! " please be more considerate!"

2004-07-03T01:41:00.000+08:00

Once again for the umpteen time, Dumb ass Muther F%@kers Singaporeans have no basic courtesy. Was on my way to Tampines to catch Spidey 2 via the MRT. AGAIN, before the passengers can dismount, hordes of ppl crowd the exit / entrance making it difficult for us to alight. I told ZY I really wanted to flash "THE FINGER" at them...... Don't you ppl know the train will not leave till they are sure everyone has boarded cos theres a monitoring system... Also at Tampines, the MRT will be mostly be quite empty.... So wats the rush?

Another thing I always notice is the hogging of escalators, pathways and stairs by those asses. Its alright to block the pathways if theres no one, but please have the awareness to move oneside if you see people rushing for time.....

Kiasu Sporeans, pls wake up....

Dedicate this blog to the nice SBS No. 21 uncle

2004-07-03T01:23:00.000+08:00

Wah liew, today got 3 blogs to do. Lets jus start with the simplest 1.

Was on my way home from Zy house once again after another winning eleven show down. This time was much better then the previous time hahah.

I was plannin to take a fiddle bus home as was too lazy to walk. So I waited at the bus stop for the bus to arrive. It was around 1245 a.m and from what I knew, there should still be fiddle bus service. However after 15 mins, there was still no sign of my bus so I decided to take a bus to interchange and walk back. So I hopped onto a bus 21.

The uncle suddenly asked " Where do you stay? Straight down this road?" I was like "yup" "Help me check anyone else on top, later I drop you at ur house."I gladly went upstairs to check and then chatted wif the uncle before he dropped me at my house.

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate all this small acts of kindness =)

My condolences for the Czechs......

2004-07-02T05:02:00.000+08:00

14min 30 secs into the 1st period of extra time when Greece scored the winning goal against the Czech Republic thru a corner. How come the teams i support loses most of the time (My beloved liverpool).....

Before moving into the main topic, I really feel sorry for Nedved... Hiaz so skillful but always so suei... I feel for you dude. Really.... lifes not fair anyway.

Always suspected that theres a pattern for soccer every season. For this yr, its the yr of the underdogs... this euro cup is turnin out to be exactly like The champions league. Therefore Portugal will win e cup jus like Porto! Throughout this tournament none of the team really caught my eye except the Czechs and Portuguese. However, I have a tendency to support the under dogs which is in this case the Greeks. So Im confused on who to support for the final. The Greeks really earned my respect after the semi final match (Missed the match against France). So Ive got to make up my mind before the comin Sunday. It sucks being a neutral during a final.... maybe I shall jus bet on a team and have no choice but to support one of em hahah.

Actually its good Czechs lost, or I really be caught in the middle.
For now, may the best team win........

"Cos we lost it all! Nothing last forever! Sorry! I cant be perfect..Now its just too late and we cant go back..Im Sorry! I cant be perfect.."-Simple plan. Czech team to the fans =P

Rantings: Lionel is sold to slavery...

2004-07-02T00:55:00.000+08:00

Die die die, i tink im becomin a slave to the bloody computer!! After get broadband been spending too much time here.....
But wat to do... no life lei....

DL music, naruto, chat..... not v constructive.... Bloggin still ok i guess. just gives more more reason to be in front of the computer heh. Hmmmm must start controlling le. But if not online also do nuthin... TIME TO WAKE UP! After euro 2004 mus stop le!

"the world i love, the tears i drop, to be part of the wave cant stop, ever wonder if its all for u."- RHCP ( cant stop )

My Dumbass new specs

2004-06-30T20:50:00.000+08:00

Ah yes.... The story of my new specs.... went all e freakin way down to Queensway to get my dumbass specs which I decided I didnt like... The silver frames stand out too much from my "chao ta" skin. Looks so ah beng.... arghhhh 300 bucks flown away.. no more army pay, cant make this kind of dumb choices anymore.

Gimme a chance to defend my stupidity. A few frens wanted to and buy clothes so I decided to follow them down to make my specs as it is supposedly cheaper there. I was planning to get an Oakleys so I went into the shop for a look.

That was when SHE arrived. The chubby act cute sales gal in tube and thick make up.... Wahraus I was really hopin someone else would come and serve me. When i asked for a new frame, she would BOUNCE away to get and then BOUNCE back.. Boink Boink Boink haha. We finally narrowed down to a few and finally choose that dumbass specs.. the sales gal was like " hiyo this 1 look nice on you la, u dark dark, light colour suits you. You student huh, sell u cheaper la..." I was rolling my eyeballs towards my frens.... Also the lighting there was dimmer so the frames looked darker. Really kana snook man..... I didnt even went other shops to try.... All my shopper friends out there, pls teach me some shopping and bargaining skills.... After paying the sales gal was like "Gimme your contact la in case the specs are ready earlier i can call you." I replied " no need la.. after a week ill jus come down.." "Never mind la jus gimme so can inform you to come earlier ma"

On the day of collection, I saw her again..... " Aye you busy huh, why that day I call you no one pick up?" I was like "err ya la should be."
I got my specs and left there.

Lucky got such a thing called contacts and NEVER am I going back again..... haha

Impossible Dreams / aims ??

2004-06-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

Dreams......

So many dreams and aims but how many are achievable?

* Go space and orbit. look down on earth ( Highly impossible )
* Overseas Social work ( no lobang and money )
* Rob book store/comic shop. Alternatively be rich enuff to buy 1 ( hard also heh )
* Try scuba ( Money again...)
* Beach Volley ball!!! ( Achievable! but no ka kee )
* Sort out my life / future ( in e process toh slow...)
* Be more confident and calm ( tryin )
* learn to cook ( mus tell mum soon. tried b4 army. FAILED )
* Buck up my chinese / indonesian ( out of desperation and survival )
* Go attend concerts of my fav artiste ( mus have money then.. )
* Retire by 40 and enjoy life ( slog so hard for wat, also die )
* Work wif associations like national geographic or animal planet. ( hopefully )

After 1 yr I should check back and see how much closer I am to them heh.

LIFE is about experiences, therefore i wanna experience everything.-Lionel

My relationship with Third Eye Blind (3eB)

2004-06-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

For those of you that don't know Third Eye Blind aka 3eB, they are an alternative/rock American band that consist of 4 members: Lead singer Stephan Jenkins, Guitar + vocals Kevin Cadogan (later replaced by Tony Fredianelli), Bass + Guitar Arion Salazar, Drums + Percussion Brad Hagreaves .

I first heard of 3eB when I was in sec 3. Borrowed their album home from a friend and started listening to it. As of most people, it was the more popular song "Semi charmed Life" that got me to notice them. However, I have to clarify that 3eB songs are way more versatile and deep to be epitomized by their most popular single to date. After returning the CD, I had this bugging feeling of wanting to listen even more to their songs...but didn't have enough money to spend on CDC then.
It was during JC1 when I finally bought their 1st self titled album for myself.

There are many reasons why 3eB stands out for me compared to the rest of the bands out in the market. 3eB music grows on you. It was jus easy listening at the beginning but gradually, I really fell in love with them. This relationship has lasted for about 6 years and still encounting.... way better then all the relationships I had been thru =p

3eB lyrics are jus like poetry. The talent of Jenkins + Cadogan is undeniable. Sadly Cado fell out with 3eB and left after the 1st album. To most 3eB fans, the first album is still the best to date. It took me about 2 years to really digest the 1st album. 1 thing I really love is the sense of suddenness when listening to them. What Im saying is that I can listen to a 3eB songs for months and suddenly when im walkin along the streets or going home on a bus when I notice or understand a particular line within the song. To me their songs are like literary works waiting to be understand. A treasure chest to be dug. Also, within 1 song, there might be changes in mood and style of the songs. Which other band does this....

To boost the talented song writing, Jenkins excellently potrays the feelings and emotions of the song. i.e 3eB can produce 2 love songs but the feel is extremely different. In "I Want You", there is a feeling of sensualness and need but in "Deep Inside Of You" there is a more primitive urge to the song. Their love songs are unlike the sappy crap produced by those dumb boy bands..... so much more classy.

It is funny how 3eB managed to sustain my interest in them as I tink my attention span is very short. A lot of times I've felt I had enuff of them. But when I play their CDC, I fall in love with their music once again.

Ive known a few 3eB fans although sadly, there aint many of them in Singapore. The funny thing is that the reasons for liking 3eB are generally the same. So its cool to be able to relate the greatness of 3eB heh. I think 3eB is an acquired taste.

For those of u who are interested in 3eB, feel free to contact me or visit their website at .

Here are a few personal favourites so got check them put if u have time.
* Narcolepsy
* Jumper
* Hows it gonna be
* I Want You (super sensual)
* Motor cycle Drive By (Personal Fav!)
* The Background
* God of Wine
* Deep inside of you
* Wounded
* Blinded
* Misfits
* Goodman (should have a hidden track at e back)
and many more............

"And a candle burns to fight off the gloom. I said to live for this way is not for the meek. But you talk real soft and kiss me on the cheek. like a jazz DJ you put me into sleep. There will be no regrets when the worms come and they should surely come.- 3eB

Ushering. The GOOD The BAD and the UGLY

2004-06-28T15:00:00.000+08:00

"Ring, ring....."

"#$@!%@#, TMD who the hell call me so early.... Euro period lei...."
" Lionel, u sleepin huh, I got usher job for concert, u wan???" said Sok yee....................

Free concert plus thirty bucks so y not.... Some NKF charity concert with performance by Penny, Jiang Mei Qi, Qiu Zhe, Fan Yi Cheng, Brandy and Ah Pao, Zai Zai and Jerry Yen.......... Non of them really interested me.... maybe except Jiang Mei Qi. I prefer singers wif talents unlike those 2 dumb F2 coming.......

Jus a side note: I started of with chinese music but progressed on to english as I felt the only inspiration for chinese songs is ONLY "AI" ( love )
So damn boring and not versatile.... However, I feel the chinese music scene is gradually evolving which I tink is real gd =)

So I got Zhong yi and Lester down with me for the ushering. We met SY and her fren Qian Hui at the expo. Les, ZY, QH & me were allocated to do ticketing at the gate. SY being the more experienced was allocated to do ushering for the seats near the stage....... Her dad organiser ma...

The ticketing part was alright except I noticed some sad facts....

1)Majority of the F2 fans were aunties (above 40?). when ppl get old do they feel so empty that they have to focus their attention on tis idol chasing to feel betta? if youre a teenager I would understand... Imagine my mum goin crazy in front of me over Jerry Yan... wake up la...
I feel a bit mean saying all this but tats jus wat I feel la....

2)There were mothers who bot front row seats for themselves and left their children at the cheaper seats alone... WTF
Wat kinda mother r they.... forsake kids for stupid idols

So I did ticketing and enjoyed the concert concurrently. I really enjoyed Jiang mei qi songs. The stupid DJ kept emphasizing that Xiao Mei was a singer with talent....and she looked prettier now.. Dammit I noe JMQ aint exactly pretty but shes attractive in her own way wat! her confidence makes her so attractive... dumb chong qing from 933FM
Penny also surprised me with her wonderful voice and stage charisma

The trouble started when the 2 F2 dudes came out to perform... BTW I really cant diffrentiate Zai and Jerry. Zai Zai performed 1st and all e gals STARTED to go crazy. So 1 of the senior ushers mobilised us to to get the crowds back to their seats.

Last time when I went for concerts, I really hated the ushers for controlling the crowds. No im one of those spastic idiots.... I feel so bad gettin the crowd back... most of them werent even getting into other audiences' way.

Then the Jerry dude came out and things WENT crazy... the crowd started surging to the front of the stage.. So we were asked to go to the front and stop them..... HOW TO.... futile effort.....
But we still moved forward and I was positioned near the centre of the stage where the crowd converged. BAD place. The police formed a human barrier by joining their hands.

There was an indian police lady standing on my right and she looked at me so intensely, nodding her head, indicating me to hold her hands... no choice lan lan.
TMD! I haven held a gals hand for more then 3 years and she held on to my hand for more then 20 mins!!!!!!! arghhh eat my tofu!!! I am extremely tramautised....

Not only that the crowd was standing very close to me and the majority were females so I felt v uncomfortable. Had to tilt my head for 20mins to avoid eye contact and keep in mind where my arms were. NB the senior usher jus stood there smiling at me... dunno how to help..

When Jerry walked towards my part of the stage the crowd would surge closer. Jerry was only like 5 meters away from me. Wonder if he could feel my 'SHA QI'. 1 incident that really tickled me was when Jerry asked the crowd if they supported F4 and a guy audience shouted so devotedly saying yes.

After the last song I started to clear the crowds out. I got my 30 bucks yeah~~ It was a fun experience although not totally enjoyable =P

"Wo de qing ai de, ni zhe me bu zhai wo shen bian, wo men you duo shao shi jian nen lang fei" - Jiang Mei Qi ( heard tis wonderful song during the concert )

Musing"I enjoy the feeling of solitude at times but I really wish I could share that wonderful feelin with someone"

2004-06-28T02:43:00.000+08:00

Was walkin home from Zhong Yi's house at around 3a.m. after hours of Winning Eleven.... lose till lost count........

I Really love the sense of tranquility and serenity esp when late into the night. Was walkin and enjoyin the scenic night sky with the cool wind blowing against me. Never felt so relaxed for a long time. It was then when I had another of my many contradicting musings.

Tot to myself "This feels really good, being alone, enjoying this nice surrounding with such good weather. How I wish I could share this wonderful experience with someone special".

Then I thought again "But if I wasn't alone, I would not be able to appreciate the beauty of enjoying this moment which is enhanced by the fact of solitude".

Wat Im trying to say is the beauty of the moment is enhanced by e fact Im alone, so theoretically it is not possible to share this wonderful feeling with someone special(cos gd stuff must share ma). So I guess its a contradiction then............

Prelude: what is a Lionel Chai YaoLong? (Brief history to help examine a Lionel)

2004-06-28T01:26:00.000+08:00

"What is a Lionel?" This question has puzzled him for many years ever since JC. And as he gets older, the answer seems to be getting further and further from him. "Y so late before realizing?" You might wonder. It is cos e being known as Lionel was too blur and ignorant before 16 to realise and justify his existence.

The pre JC Lionel Chai was a blur, dumb, aimless, simple minded and kinda loserly kiddo. The things that was important to him then consisted mainly of gals, comics, sports, ODAC and gals. Everything was so simple then.
Marist pri--> Marist High--> JC--> Uni. This made the present Lionel understand this phrase Ignorance is bliss perfectly.

Upon leaving Marist, Lionel was liberated from his life of monkhood. He went to Outram Institute as he forgot to apply for his 1st 3 months CJC admission. This showed the amount of blurness a Lionel is capable of doin. As his gd fren Poh CX was at OI, he decided to join him and managed to appeal in. Although it was jus a short stay, he met a lot of friends whom he still treasures till this day.

It was at this period when Lionel's awareness and individuality began to awaken. SRJC or CJC? CJC would mean having the security and familiarity of having many old marist friends. However he decided to choose SRJC to experience a complete new group of friends and discover his individuality away from his group of marist friends. How would this choice turn out?

In SRJC, Majority of Lionel's energy was focused on ODAC. He might not be the most capable ODACIAN but he was definitely of the the most enthusiastic. It was in ODAC he was recruited into infamous "JIE MEI" gang. His JC results was never good as he had the indestructible MARIST SPIRIT. The spirit can be found in 99% of all marist. this is where marist get their "jangan tension" and last min attitudes from. His first warning was during the JC1 promo exams. He could have been retained but managed to scrape thru wif 5 AOs.. this gave Lionel a bad fright but after a while, the MARIST SPIRIT repossessed him and all became well again....Lionel classmates were all very hardworkin but they failed to inspire him.

The thought of what Lionel wants for his future suddenly crossed his mind at JC.At this stage Lionel always tinks that he has his dad biz to fall back on, so he didnt pay much attention to this area. This sense of security became both a curse and a blessing as he realized later on.

Lionel is reluctant to talk about his JC r/s although he has to admit he learned a lot from it. It made him realise a lot regarding r/s. Guess it benefited him greatly.

The next phase in his life was ARMY (refer to article BAND OF BROTHERS). This played a crucial part in the development of Lionel. It was during army when Lionel experienced the worst time of his life. 1st came his 'A' Lvs result which he screwed up badly. Followed by his failure to get into OCS and finally his gf leavin him. Stilled he survived. Lionel always believes "What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger"

During SISPEC, Lionel was deciding whether to slack thru the course or try again to go OCS. Chances of goin to OCS from SISPEC was slim, and if he failed again, it would be another blow for him. Eventually he decided to give it 1 more shot. With the support of his frens and Platoon commander, he managed to get in to OCS.

OCS was actually a lousy experience.... majority there were not on the same frequency as Lionel. Although there were a handful of better friends.

Basically, Army made Lionel realized the meaning of solitude. Female friends busy with Uni and BFs. Male frens all busy with army and GFs. Lost contact with Mshs friends after goin SRJC. Lionel feels most guys should be experiencing the same loneliness when going thru army. This is good in a way as it made him more emotionally independent. He also feels that he might even have come to terms with solitude. Being an officer also boosted Lionel's confidence and made him more mature mentally.

Towards the end of army, Lionel had no choice but to tink for his future. By then he already had a vague idea on what kinda life he wants to lead but his dad also had plans for him....... (to be continued)

In the second part, we will examine what is a Lionel and his present choices and options for his future.

CHANGES (Intro)

2004-06-26T14:33:00.000+08:00

Finally after many futile attempts to start blogging, I have succeeded.There are many reasons currently for me to start bloggin. Most importantly its cos at this moment there are so many CHANGES in my life.
Changes in my views, Changes in my tinkings, Changes in my surrounding,Changes in my lifestyle, Changes in basically everything. I guess there no such thing as a constant in life =).I hope by writing it out, it'll enable me to sort out my thoughts. Currently I feel like a vortex/blackhole.... taking in so many issues that I feel extremely confused and lost(info overload!). Wats worse, I do not want to end up like a vortex/blackhole.Ends up with nothing but EMPTINESS. So many musings, so many thoughts but what will e future hold for me? "I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else,Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same" Guess tis song "one Headlight" by Wallflowers can kinda describe what IM feelin at tis moment of time